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Dealing with loss

At some point in our lives, we all face the challenge of dealing with the loss of a loved one, whether it's a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend.

I want to share with you that I have recently experienced the loss of my aunt, who bravely fought cancer for three years before sadly losing the battle.

As a result of my previous experience in the healthcare industry, I have encountered instances of death more frequently than I would have preferred.

You might have assumed that as a result, dealing with the loss would be simpler. But, it never gets easier.

We are originally told that there are 5 stages of grief but following research into this it has been changed to 7:

  1. Denial

  2. Anger

  3. Bargaining

  4. Depression

  5. Acceptance

  6. Reconstruction and working through

  7. Pain and guilt

These guidelines serve as a reference since you cannot predict your emotions until you experience them first hand in your own life, and also depending on the level of familiarity you had with the person.

My down fault as a healer, is that I want to fix everyone and everything. This is a time when it is completely out of my control.

In my aunt's final moments, I utilized my reiki healing techniques in an attempt to bring her comfort and tranquility.

My aunt was a resilient, determined, and compassionate individual with a strong character. The news of the big C word came as a huge surprise, as it does to many. However, if anyone could overcome this challenge, I thought it would be my aunt!

As the stairways to heaven draw near, whether it's you or another person, it prompts deeper contemplation about death.

The emotions I personally experienced and the small voice in my mind led me to consider things I had never thought before. I pondered whether my aunt harbored a fear of death, I never felt comfortable approaching her with the question, even though I understood that she would never provide me with a sincere answer if I did. This was her method of safeguarding those dear to her.

I considered the fate that awaits us after death. Where do our souls journey to? Could our departed loved ones be guiding us along the way?

Was my aunt was afraid of dying? Being similar to my aunt, I reflected on how I will feel when my time comes. I did not have an answer to any of my thoughts. Watching my mother mourn her sister, my uncle mourn his wife, has been and continues to be extremely difficult. Grief impacts us in numerous ways, and there is no correct or incorrect way to experience it.

As a follower of Buddhism, I adhere to the teachings of the Buddha, who emphasizes the nature of suffering and its link to pain. By cultivating the practice of letting go, we can alleviate our suffering.

I resonate with the Buddha's teachings and am earnestly striving to release attachments. I am aware that my aunt would not wish for my unhappiness and would want me to embrace life to its fullest potential.

At times, I believe I am adhering to these teachings, but at other times, I find it challenging.

I cannot reverse the past or change the suffering my aunt endured as the disease took over her body. I could allow myself to go through the 7 stages of grief and let each step unfold. However, will this prolong my suffering?

Is it possible to manage grief and transform it into a positive force? In order for the loved ones who remain on this earth find joy in life once more. Instead of merely striving to survive each day.

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